I am sitting up in bed listening to “Wedding Dress” on repeat. I keep hearing the words “so could you love this bastard child, though I don’t trust you to provide, with one hand in a pot of gold, and with the other in your side.” I hear the words and I sing them and I feel them deep in my bones. I say these words and let them ring in my ears and I hang my head humbled as the bastard child who struggles to trust the Father for provision. Heart knowledge and head knowledge are two completely different things. I stand greedy and grasping at my own means of survival, stretching for the threads that hang off the cloak of the Son at the same time.
No one can serve two masters; he will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and [self].