Excerpts from my 2011 trip

8/13/2011:  “Father, why have you brought me here?  Have you just answered my prayers, or is there a deeper reason?  Have I been blessed for the sake of being blessed, or is there something You want me to do?  God, what is your desire for my life, and how does Rapha House, or Cambodia, or missions fit into it?  Show me Your face.  Make it clear to me what Your desires are.  Reveal to me the next step in Your plan for my life.  How can I bring the greatest honor and glory to Your name?  Do I stay in America and do social work or foster care stuff?  Do I come to Cambodia and live among the people?  Do I work directly, or indirectly, with Rapha House in any capacity?  God — please show me.  Whisper Your plans in my ear.  And may I be wise enough -and quiet enough- to listen.  God, I praise Your for today.  Please allow more opportunities for me to be fully present.  Love.”

 

Undated:  “God, bring me back here.  Make a way for me to come back, again and again and again and again.  I want to love on these people.  I want to love on the girls at Rapha.  God, make a way.  Please!  Please, bring me back to this place.”

 

8/20/2011:  “Not only do I miss [family], but I know that living here, or maybe ever coming back, might be ridiculous.  I want so badly to come back, again and again.  I want so badly for that to be a part of God’s plan for my life.  Am I allowed to pray for that?  What if God doesn’t want me to come back, but to stay stateside?  What if God wants me to go to Haiti?  What if God wants me to eventually not work for Rapha at all?  [….]  Oh, God — bring me back.  Please.  Bring me back to this place of beauty.  The “kingdom of wonder.”  Bring me back.  Let me see their faces again.  Let me hear their voices again.  Let me laugh with them again.  Please, God.  You brought me here.  You showed Your face.  You gave me Your eyes.  You broke my heart.  Father, please bring me back.  Please, please, please bring me back.”

 

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