psychological breakdowns and clinging to fundamental truths

I’ll tell you right now, I have pre-adventure jitters. I leave in the morning for LA, and my nerves are going a little bit haywire. It’s not that I’m nervous, I’m just a bit anxious.

And by a bit, I mean a ton.

And not only am I a bit anxious, I have also begun to hear all the “what ifs” creeping up.

I’ll be honest with you – the last couple of days I’ve allowed the “what ifs” to really drive me crazy. So much so that it has been to the point of crippling a few times.

There were a few instances today where people prayed over me for this trip and for this summer. Each time someone prayed, there was the reminder of how God goes before me, how He’s behind me, how He’s above and below me. The sweet, calming reminder of how God is surrounding me. How He’s planned this out. How this trip is completely under His control. The beautiful reminder that God is moving, and that He is much bigger than this bit of anxiety I am having.

While it has been insanely easy to become overwhelmed recently, and while I can go from completely calm to psychological breakdown at the drop of a dime, I am learning ever so slowly to hand it all over to God.

Head knowledge: God is in control.

Heart knowledge: I need to be in control and see everything about this Cambodia trip laid out in front of me.

I’m freaking out.

But God is King. I know this. He is trust worthy. He is true. He is in control. He has planned this all out. He has me right where He wants me. He has me right where He needs me to be. He is going to use me. He is going to bring glory to Himself through me. He is King. He is strong. He is powerful. He is love. He is kind. He is patient. He is hope.

These basic truths are what I am seriously clinging to right now.


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