Here is where my heart is at regarding Cambodia right now: discouraged.
And perhaps that is my fault, since I have been lax about begging for money. I’ve got four or five letters with stamps on them ready to be sent out tomorrow, and they’re sitting right next to me. To be honest, I’ve had these four or five since Superbowl Sunday. I only just recently was able/remembered to buy stamps for them. So, I’ll take the blame for having under $500 for Cambodia. I’ll take that blame, and I’ll remember that it’s my fault until the moment that last bit of money comes in. And when that last check comes in, or that last $20 bill I have is handed over to Garrett, I’ll remember how many tears I cried and prayers I prayed these past few months wondering if I’ll ever actually get over to Cambodia.
The sweet thing about this trip is the fact that I know the Lord’s will will be done. Cambodia has been a long time coming. This Rapha House trip has been a long time coming: since maybe 10th grade. It’s kind of surreal to be in this moment, blogging about my Rapha House trip at my kitchen counter in my college apartment listening to Ray LaMontagne sing “Jolene.” The song has been on repeat for the past thirty minutes or so, and I’ve been mulling over parts of my life that are hanging in the balance. School has been stressful. I recently quit my job (don’t worry, I did put in my two weeks). As I was walking out the door on my last day I felt this surge of peace and chaos all at the same time. My heart was finally at rest, but the moment I turned the key in the ignition I thought, “how am I ever going to pay for anything now?” Midterms and finals are coming up, and I feel so incredibly unprepared and inadequate. Maybe I am, and maybe my schema will pull through for me during these huge exams. Who knows. (Also, did I even use the word ‘schema’ correctly?)
Well, since I’ve been such an awesome blogger for this page, here’s the part where I tell you the total that I have so far.
(here’s a secret… I don’t know the exact number. Horrible, right?)
It’s somewhere in the… $350-$400 range. I just got a check for $125.00 today, and I’m expecting a $100.00 check sometime very soon. Those two checks are included in that $350-$400 range. Over the summer, I’m looking at possibilities to be the missionary for the summer camps I’ll be volunteering at. Hopefully those positions fall into place and then some freakin’ sweet middle schoolers can partner with me in going to RH and Cambodia also! How awesome would that be?! (REALLY AWESOME!!!)
I’ll keep you updated! FOR REAL!
It looks like I’ll need more than $3,000 if I’m factoring in shots and pills. The total will be around $3,500 and that is providing some cushion in case anything comes up. *sigh* I appreciate prayers a WHOLE LOT, and coming in second to prayers, I appreciate donations. But really… prayers.